Secret's Safe-ish With Me
by Shena1
Summary: Ryan's been looking a little worse for wear lately... and Castle is concerned... and curious. Humour fic - by request. Not quite Crack - but ridiculous nonetheless. [One-Shot] COMPLETE


**Ridiculous humour fic - by request. :)**

**Merry Christmas.**

* * *

"Um… Beckett?" Castle's voice was timid, tentative.

That was very unlike him. Especially at the Precinct. She looked up from her computer monitor, glancing over at the writer who was sitting in his chair beside her desk, holding up his iPhone in front of him, looking at his own reflection.

She shook her head, huffing out a sigh. "Checking yourself out in your phone, Castle? Even I didn't think you were that vain," she smirked.

"Ha, Ha," he retorted sarcastically. "But as ruggedly handsome as I may be…"

She rolled her eyes as a grin tugged at the side of her lips.

"…I was not looking at myself." He leaned in towards her, lowering his voice. "I was looking at Ryan…" he whispered.

"Does Esposito know about the two of you?" she chuckled, narrowing her eyes. "He might get jealous."

"Fun-nee," the writer replied flatly. "But I'm serious. Have you looked at him lately? He doesn't look good."

The pair shot a quick glance over at Ryan's desk. The Irish detective looked like a zombie as he stared at his computer monitor. His hair was tussled, suit ragged, tie messy, skin so pale it was almost green, eyes blood-shot with dark circles around them. His eyes were open, but it was questionable whether or not his brain was functioning. Even Beckett had to admit that Ryan looked beyond exhausted.

"Jenny's about to give birth, Castle," she reasoned, returning her focus to the files on her desk. "He's probably not getting much sleep. You know how wound up he can get."

"Yeah…" he muttered to himself, turning his torso within the chair to get a good look at the young detective. "But speaking from experience," he continued, "I don't remember looking quite _that_ tired _before_ the baby was born."

He returned his gaze towards Beckett, her eyes glued to her computer monitor. "After Alexis was born, yes… but not _before…"_ he repeated, laying it on thick for his fiancée.

"Why don't you just go ask him," she remarked off-handedly, not even breaking her concentration.

Castle tossed his head back in shock. "What?! No way!" he expressed indignantly. "That would be an invasion of his privacy!"

Her fingers froze on her keyboard as she threw him the patented "look" out of the corner of her eye, huffing out a deep sigh, her voice raspy. "_Really_?"

"Maybe Espo knows..." he mumbled, ignorant of her comment and eye-roll, as he pushed himself out of his chair and shuffled towards the break room where the Latino was failing miserably at working the espresso milk frother.

Beckett continued to ignore the author, returning her focus to her case work.

"Lose control of your steamer again?" Castle smirked from the break room doorway as Esposito scalded his hand with the overheated liquid.

"What'd'ya want, Castle?" Esposito retorted.

"Just wondering if you know what's up with Ryan," he asked innocently, reaching over to help the detective with the mess he'd just created.

Esposito shrugged as he wet a cloth in the sink, glancing out the window towards his partner's desk. "Nothing as far as I know. Just told me he's not sleeping well."

"Looks like more than that," Castle muttered, paralleling Esposito's gaze.

"Don't know what to tell ya, Bro," he remarked, wiping up the last of the spilled milk.

"Hmmmm…" the writer hummed, handing the detective his coffee mug. "It's just, I –"

"_Castle!?" _Beckett's voice echoed through the bullpen, interrupting his train of thought. "_Gonna go talk to the victim's sister up-town. You coming?"_

"Yeah…" he affirmed, abandoning Esposito as he hurried over to her desk to grab his coat off the back of his chair.

Last thing he saw as the elevator doors closed was Ryan, head flopped down on his desk, forehead collapsed against his crossed forearms.

* * *

"It's been over a week…" the writer muttered to himself as they sauntered shoulder to shoulder along the sidewalk.

"What has?" Beckett asked, confused about his random remark.

"Ryan…"

"Haven't you let that go yet, Castle?" she rolled her eyes. "He's probably just fighting some kind of irritant… like I do every single day."

She shot him a sly grin as he processed her words.

"Hey!" he remarked, before shrugging his shoulders. "Well… that's true."

She smiled to herself as they continued to walk along Fifth Avenue towards Central Park. _So easy._

She laced her fingers through his as they shuffled along the sidewalk, enjoying the insanity that is metropolitan Manhattan in December, a gentle mist of snow falling from the sky. The store fronts were gorgeous, elaborate decorations adorning their display windows, Christmas lights setting the street a glow in a luminescent wash of white and red and green lights. Even Beckett had to admit that it was magical.

There was so much about New York at Christmas that she'd taken for granted for so many years.

It was such a lovely evening, the weather just perfect. With no active case to work on, Beckett had managed to leave the precinct at a decent hour, so Castle suggested they take a walk along the Avenue before heading back to the loft.

"You hungry?" he whispered in her ear as they passed by FAO Schwarz, Christmas carols blaring from the speaker outside the door.

"A little," she beamed at him. "Haven't eaten much today."

"C'mon," he nodded, pulling her towards a food cart. "Let's grab a hot dog."

She smiled, acquiescing easily as her feet fell into step with his. "That sounds gre— _Oh My God!"_

She stopped in her tracks.

His jaw dropped.

They just stared.

The hot dog vendor stared back, stunned, wide-eyed, completely unsure what to say.

"_Ryan?"_ Beckett squeaked after an awkward moment that seemed to last an eternity.

"Hi… guys…" he waved sheepishly, his voice mechanical and low.

"What the hell?..." Kate sputtered as Castle stammered, "What is this?..."

"I… uh… kinda got a… um… second job…" he replied, embarrassment flushing across his cheeks.

"Selling hot dogs?" Castle choked.

"Why?" Kate exclaimed before her co-worker could answer.

"Do you know what a quality education in Manhattan is going to cost?!" Ryan retorted insistently.

Beckett pursed her lips together, biting her tongue, as Castle's hand flew up to smother the laugh that was threatening to explode from his mouth.

"And you thought selling hot dogs was your best option to financially support the future of your as-of-yet unborn child?" she stuttered.

"Well… the lottery didn't work out for me…" he shrugged, mind wandering as he prepared two hot dogs for the couple. "A hot dog cart seemed like a sound investment at the time… but I think I'm going to have to give it up… "

Castle just nodded, wide-eyed, hand still covering his mouth, a look of amused shock still written all over his face. Beckett knew it was taking every single ounce of restraint he had not to whip out his cell phone and snap a picture of Ryan – 'cop by day, hotdog vendor by night.'

"Promise me something, though," Ryan pleaded, redirecting her attention.

"Sure?…" Beckett acknowledged curiously, Castle's head bobbing up and down quickly, mouth still glued shut.

"Don't tell Espo…" he sighed. Castle practically choked when the Irish detective added, "I don't need him to know that people have been paying me to handle their wieners."

* * *

**xxxxxxx**

**For Trinxy, Syzygy and Nicky who asked me a few months ago to write a fic about the infamous hot dog stand... there you go.**

**A little Christmas gift from me to you. :D**


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